Another Revoltin' Development: The Old Boy Lost Out Again

I’m feeling awfully sad today

Things sure went wrong for me

My tears are both so full of eyes

I just can’t hardly see

I thought I had it figured out

So she would fulfill my wishes

By doing windows, floors and laundry

And wish up all my dishes

I’d even let her pay the rent

The light bill and TV

I’d also let her cook some meals

And take good care of me

She was sure a neat old chick

But she messed up my plan

Instead of coming home with me

She ran off with the dumb milk man

I’ll stay away from all those widows

With them I shall not mingle

I don’t care if they’re rich or poor

I’ll go on being single

D.B.C.

The Countdown is on One and Holding

I’m really doing OK now

I’m busy as a bee

I’m eliminating some of them each day

On some days two or three

I’m checking out each single one

To find how rich they are

I eliminate the poor ones, and

I’m doing fine so far

I’ve saved the richest one till last

I sure am having fun

The checking them is over now

I’ve got them down to one

The only one that is left now

Is sure a neat old chick

If I can bring her home with me

That will be a darn good trick

D.B.C.

The Countdown is at Thirty-Nine and going Smoothly

To drop just one widow a week

I never will get through

So I am now eliminating

One every day or two

One of the old girls smiled at me

And then she called me “honey”

So then I checked her out real good

And found she had no money

So I decided that she was

Trying to pull a trick

So when I thought it over

I eliminated her real quick

And now I’m down to thirty-nine

It sure is going slow

But I am gaining every day

Just thirty-eight to go

D.B.C.

It Won't Be Long Now

I’m checking out those widows

While we’re all still alive

I’m leaving out the poor ones

I’ve got down to sixty-five

I’m eliminating one every week

And having lots of fun

Just sixty-four more weeks to go

I’ll have them down to one

I’ll be real glad when it’s over

And hope that she is healthy

But the most important thing of all

Is that the old girl’s wealthy.

D.B.C.

It Was Another Exasperatin' Night

I went to bed the other night

And could not go to sleep

I tossed and turned for quite a while

And counted lots of sheep

That didn’t help a dad-burn bit

So I hopped out of bed

I don’t have any sleeping pills

I took Bufferin instead

Then I came up with a scheme

I thought could not be beat

I’d count a bunch of those nice widows

That gather where we eat

So I crawled back into my bed

I counted some and couldn’t stop

I got so darned excited

I almost blew my top

I saw that wasn’t going to help

For getting me to sleep

In face it kept me more awake

Than counting those old sheep

From now on I’ll count something

That don’t get me excited

If I can help me get some sleep

I’ll really be delighted.

D.B.C. 

February 2nd

I thought that I’d show up today

To see if spring was here

But there was my old shadow

The sky was so darn clear

I see I made a big mistake

I showed up here too soon

So I’ll just crawl back in my hole

Until sometime next June

D.B.C.

Oh No: Not Another Birthday

House cleaning’s a pain where I sit

It’s tiresome and gruesome you see

About 9 or 10 more years of it

Will make an old man out of me

D.B.C.