Friday, October 31, 2014

October 31st, 1984


On Halloween in Eighty-Four
There came a knock on my front door
I thought it was someone from town
But out there stood a Circus Clown

It said to me, “It’s tricks or treats!”
So I gave it a bunch of eats
I said, “If you will pose for me,
I’ll take a picture for folks to see”

I took a quick snapshot of it
It only stayed a little bit
It said, “It looks like it might snow,
And I have lots more places to go!”

Some other ghosts gave me a scare
Then I sat down in my easy chair
And thought, I’m glad they call came here
And they’ll be back again next year

D.B. Cox

Monday, October 27, 2014


October is a lovely month
When the leaves start looking like gold
It isn't overly hot this month
Nor it isn't overly cold

That's when we start to reminisce
About things old and new
Like Columbus, who discovered us
In Fourteen-Hundred-Ninety-Two

Halloween will soon be here
With goblins in masks and sheets
And when they come around that night
They tell us "trick or treats"

It reminds us of when we were young
We were always short on jack
Our biggest thrill was to upset
That little house out back

Those little houses have long been gone
We've now grown old, and so
We'll just relax in our easy chairs
And dream of things from long ago

D.B. Cox

Thursday, June 12, 2014

A Bird Tail From Cody Wyoming


The birdies show up every day
And take on quite a feed
I guess they’re always hungry
Cause they sure eat lots of seed

I started out with just a few
But now they come by dozens
I think they now bring all their kids
Their uncles, aunts, and cousins

I want to keep them good and fat
So I wouldn’t want to cheat ‘em
If prices keep on going up
I may be forced to eat ‘em

D.B. Cox

Monday, April 7, 2014

The IRS and Me, Again

In honor of the upcoming April 15 tax deadline, here are several odes to taxes by Grandad. All of these opuses were written a year apart and all were entitled “The IRS and Me, Again.”

Two years ago the IRS
Relieved me of my shirt
Along with all the coin I had
And that did really hurt

Last year they cleaned me out again
I didn’t have a chance
They took what little change I had
And even took my pants

They even wanted to take more
But I said, “Won’t you please
Leave a pair of my old socks
And a pair of BVDs?”

I cried and moaned and begged so much
And put up such a howl
They finally said that I could keep
My last nice blue bath towel

T’was time to pay them once again
For Nineteen-Eighty-Five
They sure did skin me good this year
I’m lucky I’m alive

They took my socks and BVDs
They sure did treat me rude
They even took my nice bath towel
And left me in the nude

I had to leave town after dark
It was cold and it was damp
I sneaked around and finally found
A dad-burn nudist camp

I felt so out of place out there
I couldn’t even grin
I asked the guard there at the gate
If he could let me in

So when I finally got inside
I heard snickering in the crowd
They all just stood and stared at me
Some even laughed out loud

I sure did feel embarrassed
And didn’t know what to do
I’d never seen a place like this
For me t’was something new

I thought I must get out of here
I was about half froze
I sneaked down to the Welfare
And got some pre-owned clothes

I’m glad that this is over
It sure has been a mess
I think next year I’ll hid somewhere
And dodge the IRS

D.B. Cox, 1985


It’s that time of year again
When I get in a mess
By trying to find out how
I can beat the IRS

Last year they sure did clean me out
They treated me real rude
They took most everything I had
And left me in the nude

I went down to the Welfare
To get some pre-owned clothes
So they gave a pants and coat
And a pair of panty-hose

I tried to hide from the IRS
I thought I was real sly
But they sent out the CIA
Also the FBI

 Then when they found how poor I am
It sure did make them sore
The thought that I should be well fixed
And have a whole lot more

They said that they’d be good to me
And treat me fair and square
I hope I’ll have a little left
After they take out their share

If Welfare gives me some more stuff
I think that I’ll survive
So when it’s income time next year
I will still be alive

They’ve came up with a new Tax Law
That they claim is really grand
They’ve made it so darn “Simple”
That it’s hard to understand

I’ll try to study it real good
And lean it part by part
Maybe I could figure it out
If I was just half smart

I’ll bet at this time next year
I’ll be in another mess
Still trying to find out how
I can beat the IRS.

D.B. Cox, 1987


Income tax time is here again
I’ve got me in another mess
For I’m still in the same old rut
Trying to beat the IRS

They caught up with me again this year
I told them I am broke
But they just laughed right in my face
They took it as a joke

I thought I was quite a wit
Thought that I was really bright
I read my new 1040 and found
That I have just half right

The more I read the less I knew
I’ve never been that stumped before
When they were passing out the brains
I must have been behind the door

And thought I mess out on the brains
Which makes it bad for me, no doubt
There’s lots of folks that got the brains
Who cannot figure the darn thing out

I filled mine out and mailed it in
If it’s all wrong and I land in jail
I surely hope some of my friends
Will hurry up and go my bail

So I’ll just wait until next year
Knowing I’ll still be in a mess
Trying to figure out how I can
Outsmart the IRS.

D.B. Cox, 1988


It’s time to pay the Income Tax
For Nineteen-Eighty-Eight
This is the one time of the year
I really, truly hate

I thought that I would get away
And outrun the IRS
But I can’t run as fast any more
And I’m sure in a mess

They showed me how to fill it out
It wasn’t so bad you see
T’was better than it was last year
I even saved a buck or three

But now this year they’re adding more
And here’s the bottom line
They’re going to sock it to us
In Nineteen-Eighty-Nine

They think that we should earn more
And pay more tax some how
But I don’t think I’m earning
What I’m getting now

So I am sure that come next year
I’ll still be in a mess
Trying to figure how I can
Out run the IRS

D.B. Cox, 1989


It’s time to try to float a loan
To pay my Nineteen-Ninety tax
The IRS sure comes unglued
Whenever I’m a little lax

It seems that almost every year
I put it off, I must confess
I good around until I’m late
And that sure gets me in a mess

One year I couldn’t pay my tax
And they took all my clothes
It was cold and wet that year
And I just darn near froze

I sneaked down to the Welfare place
I gave them quite a shock
I walked right into their warm office
I didn’t even stop to knock

They fixed me up with some warm clothes
And sent me on my way
They were so glad to see me go
I didn’t even have to pay

Someone said to me one time
Pay your taxes with a smile
I tried that a few years ago
And they were mad for quite a while

I’m saying to the IRS
Two years ago I nearly froze
Don’t leave me in the nude this year
I think the Welfare’s out of clothes

I’ll try to pay on time next year
But if you’d like to guess
I’ll probably be a little late
And end up in another mess

D.B. Cox, 1991

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Some More Nonsense from One of the Over-the-Hill Bunch

I eat with Rolling Meals each day
And they are really good
I wouldn't change but one small thing
Even if I could

It's that those little round green peas
Are messing up my life
The dad-burn little rascals
Keep rolling off my knife

I've tried to use my fork instead
By holding it just so
But if it wobbles just a bit
Off the rascals go

I've mixed them up with honey
But that may make me fat
I could use mashed potatoes, but
Some days we don't have that

I'm really getting all shook up
Now I am asking, please
Will someone put their brains to work
And come up with square peas?!

D.B. Cox

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Oh, My Aching Back

Back bones are several little bones
Each one above another
Our heads sit on one end of them
And we sit on the other

Backs are a useful part of us
We use them every day
And if we sprain them now and then
They hurt for many a day

If Arthur Ritis gets to them
That sure keeps us awake
And when the weather's cold and damp
That really makes them ache

Everybody has a back
They're one a nature's features
If we didn't all have one
We'd be strange-looking creatures.

D.B. Cox

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Another Brain Storm

We sure get tired of CHARLIE HORSE
When he pays us a call
And if he hangs around too long
We can hardly walk at all

He sure fouls up our exercise
And here' all we can say
If it wouldn't be for old WILL POWER
We couldn't make it through the day

When we go to bed at night
Three of us hit the hay
Besides ourselves there's ARTHUR RITIS
and our good friend old BEN GAY

Our sinuses plug our noses up
So we can't sell the flowers
Those aches and pains are messin' up
Those good old days of ours

D.B. Cox

(Grandad wrote this poem for Senior Citizens. It can be sung to the tune of "Those Weddign Bells are Breaking Up That Old Gang of Mine.")

Friday, January 3, 2014

Happy New Year!

Over the years, Grandad wrote a lot of poems for New Year's. Here is a compilation of the ones remaining is his treasure trove of gems:

The year is 1984
We’ve never had this year before
As some of us were feeling great
We thought that we would celebrate

We all met at the Silver Dollar
And started in to sing and holler
We drank till we could stand no more
And all wound up down on the floor

We finally drank up all the beer
And wished the world “Happy New Year!”
Some cops said, “You’re drunk as a pup”
And hauled me home to sober up

The way I feel is sure a sin
I says to me, “Never again!”
I hope that I will stay alive
And feel much better by ’85

D.B. Cox


It’s Nineteen-Hundred-Eighty-Five
And here I am just half alive

I celebrated the New Year
And got real high on some root beer

I staggered all around the place
And then I fell flat on my face

I’m not young like I was before
Way back in Nineteen-Eighty-Four

And I was still a kid you see
Way back in Nineteen-Eighty-Three

Now that I’ve learned a thing or three
I’ll be as good as I can be

And I won’t pull no more dumb tricks
Till Nineteen-Hundred-Eighty-Six

D.B. Cox



Was fading fast away
We had a midnight party
To bring in New Year’s Day

Someone said, “Things sure are tough”
And I said, “They’re all right”
Someone else said, “You’re all nuts”
That sure did start a fight

Then there I was down on the floor
With the rest on top of me
And soon I had these two black eyes
So I could hardly see

Next thing my nose got flattened out
And I could hardly hear
Because some great big bruiser
Had stepped on my best ear

Bells started ringing, horns were blowing
To welcome New Year’s Day
So I crawled over to the door
And quietly sneaked away

I sure am glad to be at home
But now I’ll have to pay
To get some steak for my black eyes
So I’ll be good as new some day

Now I’m recuperating
I was in an awful fix
I wasn’t sure that I’d survive
Till Nineteen-Hundred-Eighty-Six

We plan another party
Some time this coming spring
If someone says, “Things sure are tough”
I ain’t gonna say a dad-burn thing

D.B. Cox



Was fading fast away
We thought we’d have a midnight party
To bring in New Year’s Day

Someone said, “Things sure are tough”
And I said “They’re all right”
Someone else said “You’re all nuts”
That sure did start a fight

Then there I was down on the floor
With the rest on top of me
And soon I had these two black eyes
So I could hardly see

Next thing my nose got flattened out
And I could hardly hear
Become some great big bruiser
Had stepped on my right ear

Bells started ringing, horns were blowing
To bring in New Year’s Day
So I crawled over to the door
And quietly sneaked away

I sure was glad to be at home
But I really had to pay
To get some beef steak for my eyes
So I could see another day

But now I’m almost good as new
And feeling really fine
So now it’s time for another party
To bring in Eighty-Nine

So we’ll all get together
To hear the bells all ring
If some says, “Things sure are tough”
I ain’t gonna say a dad-burn thing

D.B. Cox



It’s Nineteen-Hundred-Ninety-One
A brand new year has just begun
We’ve never had this year before
We wonder what it has in store

It’s time for New Year resolutions
It’s not too hard to make ‘em
The trouble with most resolutions
It’s easier to break ‘em

We hope someone will soon wake up
And bring the soldiers safely home
I’ve said enough so I shall write
Just one more verse for this dumb poem

We hope you have a real good year
And have a lot of fun
We also hope your health stays good
In Nineteen-Hundred-Ninety-One

D.B. Cox