Monday, May 30, 2011

A Beautiful Wyoming Flower

There are flowers growing in my lawn
They open up each day at dawn

They are just as healthy as can be
And also pretty, as you can see

I took a picture of this one
Just fooling around to have some fun

Just what it is nobody knows
I think it’s a Wyoming rose.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Another Revoltin' Development in Cody, Wyo.

I went downtown the other day
To see what I could see
A smart young whipper-snapper there
Tried to mug me

I slapped his face right then and there
I should have turned and ran
He ups to me, I ups to him
And then the fight began

He doubled up his big right fist
And I hit it with my nose
It surely did surprise him
Here’s how the story goes

Then I jabbed his left finger
With my good left eye
It really hurt him so darn bad
That he began to cry

So then I threw him on the ground
I surprised him with that stunt
I think he must have weighted a ton
It really made me grunt

So then I stuffed my big left ear
In his mouth as we fell
I think it must have hurt him bad
Because it really made him yell

About that time a Cop came by
And helped him to his feet
Then I got up, I sure was mad,
And kicked him in the seat

So after I went home I thought
No more of him I’d see
I’ll bet now he won’t be so ornery
Since I learned him a thing or three!


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Another Exasperatin' Day in the Life of a Senior Citizen

Spring has sprung and winter’s gone
Now summer’s on the way
I felt so good I thought I’d wash
Some windows this fine day

I took my ladder, pail and soap
And started to wash one
I thought I heard a noise below
I had only just begun

I looked around, there on the lawn
Two friendly skunks I see
A mother and her stripped kid
Were smiling up at me

I climbed up higher and said “Scat!
Please kitties go away!”
But they just stood there on the lawn
They kept me there all day

I finally got so tired I hit
The big one with my pail
I see I shouldn’t have did that
‘Cause she raised up her tail

She sure got made and glared at me
And then I heard her say
“Come on and let us spray!”

The aroma that she sprayed on me
Caused me to holler “Phew!”
I held my nose and closed my eyes
It turned the air dark blue

I jumped down off that ladder
Still holding my poor nose
I ran into my shed out back
And took off all my clothes

Then as I headed for the house
In my old birthday suit
I heard a neighbor lady say
“My goodness! Ain’t he cute!”

I ran downstairs and took a shower
Though it wasn’t my bath day
I washed and washed on that darn smell
But it wouldn’t go away

I finally dressed and went outside
With a clothespin on my nose
I dug a hole in my back yard
And buried those old clothes

I haven’t washed the windows yet
That first try was a fright
Next time I try I’ll make darn sure
There ain’t no skunks in sight