Thursday, May 5, 2011

Another Exasperatin' Day in the Life of a Senior Citizen

Spring has sprung and winter’s gone
Now summer’s on the way
I felt so good I thought I’d wash
Some windows this fine day

I took my ladder, pail and soap
And started to wash one
I thought I heard a noise below
I had only just begun

I looked around, there on the lawn
Two friendly skunks I see
A mother and her stripped kid
Were smiling up at me

I climbed up higher and said “Scat!
Please kitties go away!”
But they just stood there on the lawn
They kept me there all day

I finally got so tired I hit
The big one with my pail
I see I shouldn’t have did that
‘Cause she raised up her tail

She sure got made and glared at me
And then I heard her say
“Come on and let us spray!”

The aroma that she sprayed on me
Caused me to holler “Phew!”
I held my nose and closed my eyes
It turned the air dark blue

I jumped down off that ladder
Still holding my poor nose
I ran into my shed out back
And took off all my clothes

Then as I headed for the house
In my old birthday suit
I heard a neighbor lady say
“My goodness! Ain’t he cute!”

I ran downstairs and took a shower
Though it wasn’t my bath day
I washed and washed on that darn smell
But it wouldn’t go away

I finally dressed and went outside
With a clothespin on my nose
I dug a hole in my back yard
And buried those old clothes

I haven’t washed the windows yet
That first try was a fright
Next time I try I’ll make darn sure
There ain’t no skunks in sight


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