Another Exasperatin' Day in the Life of a Senior Citizen

Spring has sprung and winter’s gone

Now summer’s on the way

I felt so good I thought I’d wash

Some windows this fine day

I took my ladder, pail and soap

And started to wash one

I thought I heard a noise below

I had only just begun

I looked around, there on the lawn

Two friendly skunks I see

A mother and her stripped kid

Were smiling up at me

I climbed up higher and said “Scat!

Please kitties go away!”

But they just stood there on the lawn

They kept me there all day

I finally got so tired I hit

The big one with my pail

I see I shouldn’t have did that

‘Cause she raised up her tail

She sure got made and glared at me

And then I heard her say

“Come on and let us spray!”

The aroma that she sprayed on me

Caused me to holler “Phew!”

I held my nose and closed my eyes

It turned the air dark blue

I jumped down off that ladder

Still holding my poor nose

I ran into my shed out back

And took off all my clothes

Then as I headed for the house

In my old birthday suit

I heard a neighbor lady say

“My goodness! Ain’t he cute!”

I ran downstairs and took a shower

Though it wasn’t my bath day

I washed and washed on that darn smell

But it wouldn’t go away

I finally dressed and went outside

With a clothespin on my nose

I dug a hole in my back yard

And buried those old clothes

I haven’t washed the windows yet

That first try was a fright

Next time I try I’ll make darn sure

There ain’t no skunks in sight

D.B.C.