Wednesday, December 29, 2010

We hope you have a lot of fun in Nineteen Hundred Eighty-One

T’was the day after Christmas
And all through the pad
Not a knothead was sober
Not even Grand-dad

We all were hung over
T’was really quite clear
From too much of the liquid
They call Christmas cheer

There were paper and boxes
And packing galore
And ribbon and scotch tap
All over the floor

It sure was a big evening
A humdinger I guess
But now it’s over
This place is a mess

Grand-dad started singing
Home on the Range
Then Dorrene looked up
And said, “Grand-dad you’re strange”

Now the old year is ended
So we’ll lay off the mix
And try to teach these
Old dogs some new tricks

Here’s a new resolution
To keep our heads clear
We’ll lay off that vodka
And stick with root beer


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

D.B. at the Console of the Lowery Genie - His next appearance will be at Carnegie Hall

I gave Lyola a Lowery Organ
On her birthday, July five
So then I thought I’d try it out
On songs of girls that were alive

I first warmed up on Memories
Then I murdered “Mary Lou”
Next I messed up poor “Margie”
And then it was Sioux City “Sue”

I sure did tear up Ramblin’ “Rose”
And pounded “Lucille” down
Then wandered up the hill with “Maggie”
And “Alice” in her sweet Blue Gown

Next on tap it was “Louise”
Then I hammered “Baby Face”
And next she looked like “Helen” Brown
I finished with Amazing “Grace”

I finally gave up with the playing
And not a bit too soon
T’will take Lyola quite a while
To get the organ back in tune


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Four ways for men to tell when they're growing old

First on the list is number one
You meet some real neat Dames
But you can’t think just who they are
You start forgetting names

The second one is really bad
These folks in different places
You’re not sure that you know them, ‘cause
You start forgetting faces.

The third is sure embarrassing
You feel just like a pup
When someone comes to you and says
You forgot to zipper up

But worst of all is number four
It surely makes you frown
It’s when you realize that you
Forgot to zipper down