Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Terrible Hallowe'en Scare

(This one's for Meghan the Bear.)

I had a scare on Hallowe’en
That I will not forget
It made my hair stand up on end
And I am shaking yet

The doorbell rang, I answered it
At gosh, there was a bear!
It scared me so I ran back in
And hid behind a chair

I sat behind that good ol’ chair
And shook real bad with fright
So then I peeked out from behind
And said, “Please bear, don’t bite!”

So then the bear let out a laugh
It laughed and laughed with glee
It sure did tickle that brown bear
To think how it scared me

So I gave it some Cracker Jacks
And then I went and got
My camera out and focused it
And took this bear snap shot

D.B. Cox

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Phoey on House Cleaning

(This one's for Meghan.)

Spring arrived some time ago
And I’m really sad
It’s spring house cleaning time again
And that sure makes me mad

Dusting is a nasty job
But doing it is a must
It’s got to be done good to make
Room for more “canyon” dust

And then I get the vacuum
And walk a mile or two
Back and forth and forth and back
I’m glad when I get through

Doing all those household chores
Is really hard on me
I wind up with two dish pan hands
And also house maid’s knee

By the time I’m through with it
My two poor feet don’t track
I relax in my chair and say
“Oh my aching back”

When I am dead and in my grave
No more house work will I crave
And on my tombstone painted yellow
That house work killed this poor old fellow

D.B. Cox

Thursday, October 17, 2013

He never will be rich becuz He's still as dumb as he ever wuz.

I didn’t do too well in school
I must have been some kind of fool

I made it through by just a crack
Came in the front and out the back

In Math they asked, “What’s X times Y”
I didn’t know and wondered why

They’d ask a thing like that of me
I even flunked “What’s 2 times 3”

The Latin teacher said, “D.B.,
Can you translate ‘Puer’ for me?”

I said, “I think that must mean glass”
That sent me to the foot of the class

In History I didn’t do real good
The teach said, “D.B., you should

“Describe Columbus to me if you can”
I didn’t even know the man

So here I am, still wondering why
They wanted to know “What’s X times Y”

D.B. Cox

(Sorry it's been so bloody long since I posted a Grandad gem! I hope to post weekly now until I have them all posted.)