Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Another Brain Storm from D.B.'s Funny Farm

Things are in a terrible state
And getting worse I guess
The whole world seems to be upset
It’s surely in a mess

The nations all accuse their neighbors
Of one thing or another
They can’t agree on any thing
They’re all mad at each other

If they do things to please someone
The others think that’s bad
Then if they try to please the others
The first ones all get mad

There isn’t much that I can do
Just hope their hate will pass
So I’ll just take it easy
And sit here on my Ass


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

T'was A Glorious Thanksgiving Dinner, I think.

How very well do I remember
That afternoon in late November
When I went out to someone’s farm
To buy a turkey, I meant no harm

I walked up to their house to see
If they would sell just one to me
But as I opened up the gate
I thought that I had met my fate

A turkey gobbler came around
And almost knocked me to the ground
He chased me all around the yard
To stay ahead of him was hard

The farmer showed up then, by heck
And grabbed that gobbler by the neck
He won’t chase me no more that way
We ate him on Thanksgiving Day


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Another Brain Storm from Cody Wyo.

This Cold and snow’s got me uptight
I think I’ll go down to Quartzsite
If you are tired of cold and snow
Let’s get together and all go

At the Country Club, if Cliff will pay
We’ll play golf with him every day
Then we’ll eat at their cozy nook
‘Cause Erma is a Super cook

If they get tired of us you know
Let them come back to the cold and snow
Then we won’t come home very soon
We may stay there till May or June

I have an overwhelming hunch
They like to have the whole darn bunch
So we don’t want to make them sad
Let’s all go down and make them glad

We’ll fly - we sure won’t drive that far
I’m sure they’d let us use their car
The weather here is sure a fright
So let’s all go down to Quartzsite


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Old Boy's in Another Mess

I’ve lived alone for quite a while
And it’s a lonesome life
I ran an advertisement
To try to get a wife

I said that I am handsome
And very wealthy too
I thought that sure would get them
And I’d hear from quite a few

I know that was a nasty lie
And I know it is a sin
But in a week or two or three
The mail came pouring in

I got a lot of letters
Thought I was doing fine
But they all say the same, it is
I’ll gladly give you mine

One letter said “please hurry”
That he could hardly wait
He said he’d gladly ship her
And even pay the freight

Another said he’d make a deal
If I would take her now
He would deliver her, and even
Throw in a darn good cow

Then one old guy from Utah
Who said his name is Mick
Says he has got a dozen
And I can have my pick

I sure have got me in a mess
I’ve got to get out of this jam
I see I’ll be much better off
If I will stay just like I am


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

His head is only half full of knowledge

I was born in Nineteen-four
I’ve been alive since then
We all thought I’d get smart someday
But we weren’t sure just when

I grew up close to Keeline
One a real dry farm
Pulled a lot of childish tricks
But really meant no harm

I finally made it through grade school
Was not too good, but not too bad
When I finally graduated
It sure did make the teachers glad

Since I have now become much older
I can now begin to see
There’s lots of things that I don’t know
I’m not as smart as I should be

I thought that I was quite a wit
Thought I was really bright
But I found out a week ago
That I was just half right