Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Countdown is at Thirty-Nine and going Smoothly

To drop just one widow a week
I never will get through
So I am now eliminating
One every day or two

One of the old girls smiled at me
And then she called me “honey”
So then I checked her out real good
And found she had no money

So I decided that she was
Trying to pull a trick
So when I thought it over
I eliminated her real quick

And now I’m down to thirty-nine
It sure is going slow
But I am gaining every day
Just thirty-eight to go


Sunday, February 20, 2011

It Won't Be Long Now

I’m checking out those widows
While we’re all still alive
I’m leaving out the poor ones
I’ve got down to sixty-five

I’m eliminating one every week
And having lots of fun
Just sixty-four more weeks to go
I’ll have them down to one

I’ll be real glad when it’s over
And hope that she is healthy
But the most important thing of all
Is that the old girl’s wealthy.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It Was Another Exasperatin' Night

I went to bed the other night
And could not go to sleep
I tossed and turned for quite a while
And counted lots of sheep

That didn’t help a dad-burn bit
So I hopped out of bed
I don’t have any sleeping pills
I took Bufferin instead

Then I came up with a scheme
I thought could not be beat
I’d count a bunch of those nice widows
That gather where we eat

So I crawled back into my bed
I counted some and couldn’t stop
I got so darned excited
I almost blew my top

I saw that wasn’t going to help
For getting me to sleep
In face it kept me more awake
Than counting those old sheep

From now on I’ll count something
That don’t get me excited
If I can help me get some sleep
I’ll really be delighted.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

February 2nd

I thought that I’d show up today
To see if spring was here

But there was my old shadow
The sky was so darn clear

I see I made a big mistake
I showed up here too soon

So I’ll just crawl back in my hole
Until sometime next June