The Old Boy's in Another Mess

I’ve lived alone for quite a while

And it’s a lonesome life

I ran an advertisement

To try to get a wife

I said that I am handsome

And very wealthy too

I thought that sure would get them

And I’d hear from quite a few

I know that was a nasty lie

And I know it is a sin

But in a week or two or three

The mail came pouring in

I got a lot of letters

Thought I was doing fine

But they all say the same, it is

I’ll gladly give you mine

One letter said “please hurry”

That he could hardly wait

He said he’d gladly ship her

And even pay the freight

Another said he’d make a deal

If I would take her now

He would deliver her, and even

Throw in a darn good cow

Then one old guy from Utah

Who said his name is Mick

Says he has got a dozen

And I can have my pick

I sure have got me in a mess

I’ve got to get out of this jam

I see I’ll be much better off

If I will stay just like I am

D.B.C.