This Was Another Revoltin' Development

I started out on this fine day

To go to the Super Mart

I think I would have stayed at home

If I had been half smart

I drove into this darn chuckhole

And now I can’t get out

So all that I can do right now

Is wave and cuss and shout

I can’t get out so I’ll sit here

And cry and trust to luck

That some old boy will soon show up

With a real darn good winch truck

And hook onto my little care

So we can soon begin

To try to get out of this

Chuckhole that I am in

When I get out of this big mess

I’ll finish up this ditty

Then from now on I shall just walk

Around in Chuckhole City

D.B.C.

Another Revoltin' Development in Cody, Wyo.

I went downtown the other day

To see what I could see

A smart young whipper-snapper there

Tried to mug me

I slapped his face right then and there

I should have turned and ran

He ups to me, I ups to him

And then the fight began

He doubled up his big right fist

And I hit it with my nose

It surely did surprise him

Here’s how the story goes

Then I jabbed his left finger

With my good left eye

It really hurt him so darn bad

That he began to cry

So then I threw him on the ground

I surprised him with that stunt

I think he must have weighted a ton

It really made me grunt

So then I stuffed my big left ear

In his mouth as we fell

I think it must have hurt him bad

Because it really made him yell

About that time a Cop came by

And helped him to his feet

Then I got up, I sure was mad,

And kicked him in the seat

So after I went home I thought

No more of him I’d see

I’ll bet now he won’t be so ornery

Since I learned him a thing or three!

D.B.C.

Normal At Last

I’m finally back to normal

There’s sure a big change though

The treatment that I had to take

Sure made my whiskers grow

It sure is nice to go down town

Since the girls no longer hate me

And those old bums there on the street

No longer try to date me

They way the winter will be long

With lots of cold and snow

I may not shave again till spring

I’ll let my whiskers grow

I’ll quit dying them I guess

So they’ll turn gray because

I’ll then get me a real good job

Playing Santa Claus

D.B.

Half Way Back to Normal

I took a bunch of hormone shots

To help my bones, by golly

They surely messed up my physique

I looked a lot like Dolly

I’ve started taking treatments

I thought I should because

I wanted to reduce my form

And get back like I wuz

They cost more than I thought they would

And I ran out of money

So far I’m only half way there

And gosh do I look funny

I’ll have to write to Medicare

And plead with them I guess

To pay a few more bills to help

Me get out of this mess

If I get back to normal

And I surely hope I can

Then I won’t look so funny

I’ll look more like a man

There’s one thing that I know for sure

I’ve learned by lesson good

I’ll stay away from hormone shots

So I’ll look like I should

D.B.

The Development is getting more Revoltin'

Those hormone shots to help my bones

Worked wrong as you can see

They sure messed up by boyish form

I look like Dolly P.

I’m out of shape, I’m sure a mess

I’m taking them no more

I’ve got so big my shirts don’t fit

I don’t look like I did before

I hardly go out any more

I think the neighbors hate me

But some of those of bums down town

Would really like to date me

It’s cost about a thousand bucks

And that’s not all because

It’ll cost another thousand

To get back like I was.

D.B.

This sure is a Revoltin' Development

I have some softening of my bones

So treatments I am taking

I’m getting some male hormone shots

To try to stop their aching

I’m getting one every three weeks

For six months I’m to get ‘em

They want to give them all to me

But I’m not sure I’ll let ‘em

I’ve only taken them three months

That isn’t very long

I have a little tiny hunch

That something must be wrong

I think they’ve made a big mistake

With the wrong shots, by golly

If I take them for three more months

I may look just like Dolly

D.B.