Oh No: Not Another Birthday

House cleaning’s a pain where I sit

It’s tiresome and gruesome you see

About 9 or 10 more years of it

Will make an old man out of me

D.B.C.

Two of Jireh's Best

Away back long ago, two boys

One fall when it was cool

In order to become real smart

Went to a Jireh school

They studied hard most every day

To learn what all they could

They followed most of the school rules

Just like all good boys should

They never misbehaved at all

So they have no regrets

They went to classes every day

They were the teachers’ pets

They studied Math and Latin too

To fill their heads with knowledge

And all the good stuff that they know

They learned at Jireh College.

D.B.C.

When I came across this entry in Grandad's poems, I vaguely remembered something about Jireh. Well, when I had to make a trip back to Wyoming in early December, I just happened to stop at an historical marker for, you guessed it, Jireh! I took some photos, which should serve as a bit of a history lesson for this entry.

Jehovah Jireh Christian College first opened its doors in 1909. It was established in the middle of nowhere on the dry, windblown eastern Wyoming prairie by a group of Congregational ministers. The school and in time the town of Jireh were located 20 miles from Lusk just south of what is now Wyoming Highway 18/20.

The school consisted of an elementary school, a high school, and a two-year liberal arts and domestic sciences college. For $65 a year, boys and girls got room and board, books, and a Christian education.

The college had an experimental farm where students and area farmers grew sugar beets, wheat, potatoes, alfalfa, and sunflowers.

The town had a newspaper, garage, bank, hardware store, and post office. A battery-operated telephone system was installed using barbed-wire fences, with the telephone wires elevated so the horses and riders could pass underneath.

Eventually the school boasted 65 students and the town 500 residents.

The town was Christian, too. Playing cards, dancing, smoking, and drinking alcohol were forbidden, although rollerskating was allowed.

World War I was the beginning of the end for Jireh, when many of the young people left for the Armed Forces or to support the war effort and never returned. A serious drought and the encroaching Great Depression heralded the end of Jireh and the college. In 1919, the Christian College organization in Ohio that had helped fund the school withdrew its support. Jireh College closed in 1920, and the building was torn down.

A cornerstone is nearly all that remains of the school and the town.

(The above information came from an "Answer Girl" column in the Casper Star Tribune; the major source of the information was Rose Kremers, Stagecoach Museum Curator in Lusk, WY.)

Final Warning

We hope that you are listening

To your hair up here on top

That stuff you’re putting on us

Has really got to stop

It keeps us in a lather

And sure does make us sore

If you really want to keep us

Don’t use it any more

Most of us already left

We four are hanging on

So treat us nice, please no more goo

Or soon we’ll all be gone

We’re giving you this warning

Are listening down below

Please treat us with more kindness

Or all four of us will go.

D.B.C.

It's All Old Man Rubik's Fault

Dorrene gave me a Rubik’s Cube

Last year on Christmas Day

I’ve turned and twisted, swore and cried

It’s turned my hair all gray

Clifford wrote some turns for me

I should turn left, not right

But the pattern that I came up with

Is certainly a fright

I finally stop and start all over

It really gives me fits

I think I’ll take the hammer

And pound the thing to bits

If that old guy named Rubik

Would only come around

I’d stand him on his pointed head

And drive him in the ground

If I ever get the problem solved

It should be lots of fun

But by the time I get that smart

I’ll be past Ninety-one

D.B.C.

We hope you have a lot of fun in Nineteen Hundred Eighty-One

T’was the day after Christmas

And all through the pad

Not a knothead was sober

Not even Grand-dad

We all were hung over

T’was really quite clear

From too much of the liquid

They call Christmas cheer

There were paper and boxes

And packing galore

And ribbon and scotch tap

All over the floor

It sure was a big evening

A humdinger I guess

But now it’s over

This place is a mess

Grand-dad started singing

Home on the Range

Then Dorrene looked up

And said, “Grand-dad you’re strange”

Now the old year is ended

So we’ll lay off the mix

And try to teach these

Old dogs some new tricks

Here’s a new resolution

To keep our heads clear

We’ll lay off that vodka

And stick with root beer

D.B.C.

D.B. at the Console of the Lowery Genie - His next appearance will be at Carnegie Hall

I gave Lyola a Lowery Organ

On her birthday, July five

So then I thought I’d try it out

On songs of girls that were alive

I first warmed up on Memories

Then I murdered “Mary Lou”

Next I messed up poor “Margie”

And then it was Sioux City “Sue”

I sure did tear up Ramblin’ “Rose”

And pounded “Lucille” down

Then wandered up the hill with “Maggie”

And “Alice” in her sweet Blue Gown

Next on tap it was “Louise”

Then I hammered “Baby Face”

And next she looked like “Helen” Brown

I finished with Amazing “Grace”

I finally gave up with the playing

And not a bit too soon

T’will take Lyola quite a while

To get the organ back in tune

D.B.C.

Four ways for men to tell when they're growing old

First on the list is number one

You meet some real neat Dames

But you can’t think just who they are

You start forgetting names

The second one is really bad

These folks in different places

You’re not sure that you know them, ‘cause

You start forgetting faces.

The third is sure embarrassing

You feel just like a pup

When someone comes to you and says

You forgot to zipper up

But worst of all is number four

It surely makes you frown

It’s when you realize that you

Forgot to zipper down

D.B.C.