An Early New Year's Poem

Nineteen Hundred Eighty-two

Was fading fast away

We thought we’d have a midnight party

To bring in New Year’s Day

Someone said, “Thing sure are tough”

And I said, “They’re all right”

Someone else said “You’re all nuts”

That sure did start a fight

Then there I was down on the floor

With the rest on top of me

And soon I had these two black eyes

So I could hardly see

Next thing, my nose got flattened out

And I could hardly hear

Because some great big bozo

Had stepped on my right ear

Bells started ringing, horns were blowing

To bring in New Year’s Day

So I crawled over to the door

And quietly sneaked away

I sure am glad to be at home

But I know I’ll have to pay

To get some beef steak for my eyes

So I’ll be good as new some day

Now I’m recuperating

As happy as can be

I wasn’t sure that I’d survive

Till Nineteen Hundred Eighty-three

We plan another party

Sometime this coming spring

If someone asks, “How’s the country doing?”

I ain’t gonna say a dad-burn thing!

D.B.C.

T'was the Day After Christmas

T'was the day after Christmas

And you maybe can guess

That things at our house

Were really a mess

There was paper and boxes

And packing galore

And ribbons and scotch tape

All over the floor

We got lots of presents

I think it's because

We all still believe

There's a real Santa Claus

And though we are happy

And full of good cheer

We're glad Christmas comes

Only one day each year

Our expressions will change

To a frown from a grin

When those Christmas bills

start coming in

Happy New Year!

D.B.C.

Oh, If I Could Be Nineteen Again

One sunny day I walked downtown

Which isn’t very far

I met this snazzy chick

Near the Silver Dollar Bar

She looked at me, then smiled and said

I’m looking for a man

I ups to her, she ups to me

And then I turned and ran

It dawned on me that I’m too old

For this kind of date

I think it may have been real nice

But it’s sixty years too late

So I just hurried on back home

Where I haven’t got a care

Took off my shoes and just relaxed

In my old reclining chair

They say her name is Helen French

And I suppose that’s so

I don’t know what it is in English

And I’ll probably never know

Over the hill D.B.C.

A Cow Tail

We had this eight cylinder cow

To milk her we weren’t sure how

So four of us tried, with two on each side

We soon said “we’re through milking” Now?

This outstanding animal was raised

on feed supplied by

Rancher’s Feed Service

Lusk, Wyoming

H. & R. Brown, Props.

D.B.C.

Labor(less) Day

A holiday is coming soon

They call it “Labor Day”

As one who used to labor

Here’s what I have to say

I’ve seen a lot of Labor Days

And here’s what I have found

Most folk don’t Labor much that Day

They mostly goof around

Some say “some good old mountain trout

Would make a tasty dish”

So the7y go up the river

And try to catch some fish

Some are lucky and they get

The day off with full pay

I think that we should change it

And call it “Laborless Day”

D.B.C.

(Another) School Daze

I didn’t do real well in school

I must have been some kind of fool

I made it through my just a crack

Went in the front door and out the back

In Math they asked “What’s X times Y?”

I didn’t know and wondered why

They’d ask a think like that of me

I even flunked what’s two times three

The Latin teacher said, “D.B.

Can you translate ‘puer’ for me?”

I said, “I think that must mean ‘glass’”

That sent me to the foot of the class

In History I didn’t do real good

The teacher said, “D.B., you should

Describe Columbus, if you can”

I didn’t even know the man

So here I am, still wondering why

They wanted to know “What’s X times Y?”

D.B.C.

School Daze

SCHOOL DAZE

It’s time for school to start again

In Nineteen Hundred Eighty-Nine

The kids have had a short vacation

In this good old summer time

There’s lots of things for them to learn

If they try hard to do it

These are the best years of their lives

If they only knew it

We wish them all a lot of luck

How they’ll turn out we can only guess

When they grow up and take control

They’re going to inherit quite a mess

We Senior Citizens used to go to school

A long, long time ago

We really should go back again

We’d learn some things that we don’t know

D.B.C.