Another Jackalope Tail From Cody Wyoming

I went out back to look around

And met this Jackalope pawing the ground

I was checking to see what I could see

When that mad brute took after me

He was real mad and getting madder

So I climbed up on my step ladder

I climbed as high as I could go

And he glared at me from down below

It sure was cold out there that day

And I said “Jackalope go away”

It felt like it was near zero

I thought that he would never go

He finally took off in a huff

And I said “Feet now do your stuff”

I climbed back down and ran inside

And stared to warm up my old hide

Cold made it hard to get about

It took two hours to thaw me out

When I go out again I hope

I won’t meet that mad Jackalope

D.B.C.

I went back out to feed the birds

And like some half baked dope

I didn’t think to look around

For that mad Jackalope

I didn’t see him anywhere

But gosh there was another

He wasn’t quite so big and fat

I think it’s his kid brother

He spotted me and here he came

With one blood curdling roar

I ran as fast as I could go

And beat him to the door

I’ll buy some bombs from Uncle Sam

If he has some to sell

I’ll drop them on those Jackalopes

And blow them all to **** ...pieces

D.B.C.

April 1st 1983 - The Original April Fool

(Note: Grandad LOVED April Fool's Day; he pranked me every year!)

There’s a fool born every minute

That’s what P.T. Barnum said

I don’t think that we’re all stupid

We’re just feeble in the head

We really are a jolly bunch

I’ll say in our defense

And I’m sure I’m just as happy

As if I’d been blessed with good sense

If I’d been an extra-smart kid

I’d probably be a millionaire

But this way I’m free from worry

I don’t even have a care

I don’t try to hold a job down

And I’m not an old deadbeat

I don’t draw no unemployment

All I do is sleep and eat

D.B.C.

Another Jackalope Tail From Cody Wyoming

(NOTE: Grandad wrote several of these "Jackalope" themed pieces.)

I dug out my old trust rope

And caught myself a Jackalope

I didn’t know if he’d been rode

I thought perhaps I might get throwed

But he was gentle as could be

He didn’t even buck with me

He needs no gas, no oil, no lube

Not even oats, just rabbit food

He nibbles grass from dusk till dawn

And fertilizes my dumb lawn

And when with him I’m finally through

I’ll have myself some rabbit stew

D.B.C.

Another Jackalope Tail From Cody Wyoming

I went out back to look around

And met this Jackalope pawing the ground

He growled so loud I thought I’d been had

So I climbed my shed ‘cause he surely was mad

I thought I’d stay there till he went away

He kept me up there for two nights and a day

He finally gave up and decided to go

And I fell in a heap right there in the snow

I was so cold I hardly could talk

It sure hurt my legs to get up and walk

Now when I go out I surely do hope

I won’t meet up with that mad Jackalope

D.B.C.

Another Revoltin' Development: The Old Boy Lost Out Again

I’m feeling awfully sad today

Things sure went wrong for me

My tears are both so full of eyes

I just can’t hardly see

I thought I had it figured out

So she would fulfill my wishes

By doing windows, floors and laundry

And wish up all my dishes

I’d even let her pay the rent

The light bill and TV

I’d also let her cook some meals

And take good care of me

She was sure a neat old chick

But she messed up my plan

Instead of coming home with me

She ran off with the dumb milk man

I’ll stay away from all those widows

With them I shall not mingle

I don’t care if they’re rich or poor

I’ll go on being single

D.B.C.

The Countdown is on One and Holding

I’m really doing OK now

I’m busy as a bee

I’m eliminating some of them each day

On some days two or three

I’m checking out each single one

To find how rich they are

I eliminate the poor ones, and

I’m doing fine so far

I’ve saved the richest one till last

I sure am having fun

The checking them is over now

I’ve got them down to one

The only one that is left now

Is sure a neat old chick

If I can bring her home with me

That will be a darn good trick

D.B.C.

The Countdown is at Thirty-Nine and going Smoothly

To drop just one widow a week

I never will get through

So I am now eliminating

One every day or two

One of the old girls smiled at me

And then she called me “honey”

So then I checked her out real good

And found she had no money

So I decided that she was

Trying to pull a trick

So when I thought it over

I eliminated her real quick

And now I’m down to thirty-nine

It sure is going slow

But I am gaining every day

Just thirty-eight to go

D.B.C.