We hope you have a lot of fun in Nineteen Hundred Eighty-One

T’was the day after Christmas

And all through the pad

Not a knothead was sober

Not even Grand-dad

We all were hung over

T’was really quite clear

From too much of the liquid

They call Christmas cheer

There were paper and boxes

And packing galore

And ribbon and scotch tap

All over the floor

It sure was a big evening

A humdinger I guess

But now it’s over

This place is a mess

Grand-dad started singing

Home on the Range

Then Dorrene looked up

And said, “Grand-dad you’re strange”

Now the old year is ended

So we’ll lay off the mix

And try to teach these

Old dogs some new tricks

Here’s a new resolution

To keep our heads clear

We’ll lay off that vodka

And stick with root beer

D.B.C.

D.B. at the Console of the Lowery Genie - His next appearance will be at Carnegie Hall

I gave Lyola a Lowery Organ

On her birthday, July five

So then I thought I’d try it out

On songs of girls that were alive

I first warmed up on Memories

Then I murdered “Mary Lou”

Next I messed up poor “Margie”

And then it was Sioux City “Sue”

I sure did tear up Ramblin’ “Rose”

And pounded “Lucille” down

Then wandered up the hill with “Maggie”

And “Alice” in her sweet Blue Gown

Next on tap it was “Louise”

Then I hammered “Baby Face”

And next she looked like “Helen” Brown

I finished with Amazing “Grace”

I finally gave up with the playing

And not a bit too soon

T’will take Lyola quite a while

To get the organ back in tune

D.B.C.

Four ways for men to tell when they're growing old

First on the list is number one

You meet some real neat Dames

But you can’t think just who they are

You start forgetting names

The second one is really bad

These folks in different places

You’re not sure that you know them, ‘cause

You start forgetting faces.

The third is sure embarrassing

You feel just like a pup

When someone comes to you and says

You forgot to zipper up

But worst of all is number four

It surely makes you frown

It’s when you realize that you

Forgot to zipper down

D.B.C.